Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
did you just send me my own nude
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
