I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
