No stitches, just platelets and will power
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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