I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
