There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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