im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
