Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i think i just lost a toe
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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