you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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