Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
