you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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