Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
