check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
