You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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