My liver just broke up with me...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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