dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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