Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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