i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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