eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
