Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
