Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
