Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
