True but thats because hes a fetus.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
