you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We are two peas in an std pod
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
