i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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