I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
