I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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