i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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