Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
only you would photoshop your dick
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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