Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
