we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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