I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
