fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
