She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is wine microwaveable?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
