I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
