He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
