You can't special order awesome
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
