Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
