why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
