Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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