dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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