hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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