i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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