She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
