i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
