Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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