i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
