Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
