even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
