is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
