Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
