Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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