Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
