let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
