it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
How's work?
Spinning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
